i've done everything i could just to distract myself from reality
let's call it "self improvement" for the sake of coolness
but i know well that it doesn't help my situation
not even the slightest
reading books, writing gibberish on this blog, playing games,
working out and going to the gym, bicycling,
making papercrafts and even watching youtube videos
can i call those a coping mechanism?
sometimes i got really tired
the reality got into my mind
and i can't do any of those
even if they're objectively fun
in that situation i can't help but wonder
when will this end?
will this ever end?
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